I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

...and I don't know what it is that I am looking for. But I know I'm headed towards it all the time. I can feel it getting closer. I feel a peaceful joy within me, and I feel a growing freedom. I live in this moment. I still wish a change to come, but whatever the situation is, I believe it to be the best for this moment.

I still do get anxious, I do have bad times, I cry and I feel lost and helpless. I need space and time for myself, I don't want to be too dependent on others. But all the same I want to be devoted to the people I love, and I wish to share my life with another person. A person who loves me back unconditionally, not wishing to change me or chain me. I hope to find love to enrich this life. But I don't want to compromise love. I won't hang onto the first person I bump into, I trust myself to know when I meet the person who is right for me, with me.

I don't want someone to open doors for me, keep me safe and sweet talk to me. I can open my own doors just fine, my aim is to feel safe anyway, no matter who is around me and talking the talk is not as important as walking the walk. I simply wish to find a friend. Someone who appreciates and respects me, is willing to truly listen to me and open up about his own inner thoughts and feelings. Someone who walks by my side, letting me be whatever I am, not judging me or hoping I would change. Someone who doesn't get frustrated over who I am, even when he doesn't agree with me. And I wish to be exactly that person to him, as well.

Love, acceptance, respect, appreciation, trust, honesty, closeness, friendship, partnership... That's what I'm wishing to find. A lot of smiles and laughter, but tears and sadness as well, because there's no need to hide them. They are a part of life... A deep connection. Like there are a lot of conversations going on even when nothing is said out loud. And I know a connection like this can be reached, it's not just a fantasy. And I won't settle. I will find my happiness, eventually :)

Meanwhile, I'm fine living on my own, ceasing this moment, enjoying the little, extremely valuable details that make this life and this world so beautiful... Loving life, living love :)