I wish I could write about the things I experience throughout the days... The little details I see and hear and the feelings I get. But it seems impossible. Which is extremely sad, because in my opinion, those seemingly pointless things are the very core of living...
Most of my knowledge is intuitive. I have a lot of thoughts, feelings and truths which I can't verbally express. The inner world is so beautiful. But I don't know how to make it visible to the eye. I haven't found the tools for that...
Life is like a puzzle. Millions of pieces, countless possible results. Depending on the individual choices the overall picture will be different. But I don't want to get stuck with one picture. Life is not about the result, the goal. It's about experiencing the different possibilities, and going with the flow (your own personal flow, not the standard one of the society:) I enjoy the journey so much, I don't want to ever be full and ready.
I want to float free in the eternal flow. And while floating I want to radiate. Joy, acceptance, new perspectives, keys, paths, possibilities, dreams, sunshine, growth, harmony, all these things... Change is eternity.
And what comes to love... It's part of freedom. I'm so full of love. Sometimes I wish I had a channel for that love, but hey, c'mon, I do. There's so many people in my life, who love me, and who I love... But sometimes I get blind. Sometimes I shut myself down, and fail to feel that love. How sad is that... Honestly, I don't know anyone else, who has this many exceptionally great people in their life. So many true friends. None of them is the character I've built in my head - and wake up, Anna, every single one of them is better than your dream image. They are real. I'm so lucky to not have transcripted figures in my life. I'm so lucky they flow free, exactly like I do. And I should be so aware to listen to their words and realise what they have to teach me.
I'm so happy I don't live in a Disney film. That I don't get a dull prince in the end, who rides a white horse, and has no edge, no personality. And that I'm not a spiritless image of what is concidered to be beautiful (in a very dull way). I'm unbelievably grateful that I make mistakes. That I have a stupid sense of humour and that I sometimes get lost. Getting lost means finding new things that you wouldn't find if you just stuck to the designated road.
And I mean this all with all of my heart, too. My heart, which by the way is full of real feelings, and not ashamed to feel the way it does. I don't want to aim to be a holy ghost. I don't wish to be cool, either. Not to be Mother Theresa, not to be Rihanna.
I'm here, I'm like this, and I'm happy with it. I wouldn't like to be anything or anyone else. If anyone feels differently about me, feel free to. Then I'm not meant to be a part of your world :)
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